Monday, April 5, 2021
A TRIBUTE TO MY DEAR FRIEND VIRGILIO “DOY” TUVIDA (by Ramon “Monching” Abary)
Doy and I have known each other for 56 years now. He was part of my journey in life from the time we used to work together in Meralco in 1965. He left Meralco a few years ahead of me in an exchange engineering program for experienced engineers sponsored by Meralco with Gilbert Associates in Reading Pennsylvania.
Going back in time, I was able to see him again after my brief stay in California for one and three months working for Bechtel Corporation. I accepted an offer in United Engineers (UE) in Philadelphia as my second employer. I arrived in Philly in August, 1969 after a long drive from California with no place to stay (see our photo together in winter time). After spending a few days with them, Doy and Lulu offered for me to stay as a boarder in their big house in Fernrock (last subway stop in North Philly) until I find a place of my own. They have a big detached garage but they didn’t have a car and either of them didn’t know how to drive. So my car, a 69 Chevy two door Impala also found a new home. We worked together at United Engineers in 14th and Arch Streets in different projects. He was an excellent mechanical (piping) engineer in one of UE’s major nuclear project, Indian Point. I was an electrical engineer on various fossil fired projects. We took the Septa subway train together every working day to work and ate lunch together at breaktime.
I drove them to NY on weekends to visit Lulu’s twin Sister Terry and Dr. Baby Jaleco whenever they wanted to and we always stayed there overnight. I became a close friend to the Jaleco family. Doy was an ideal husband, he loved Lulu so much that he did almost all the housework in their house. If you had a chance to shake hands with him you can feel the calluses on his hands from hard work. Since both of them were from Visayan families, he addressed Lulu all their lives as “INDAY” or “DAY” for shortcut (an endearment and tender word which means dear, loved one). And I am sure that’s how he got his nickname “DOY” with similar implication. Once in a while I went out to meet with some friends and sometimes I stayed out late with them at night bowling, etc. I was so embarrassed because Doy would stay awake in the living room waiting for me, like a loving father worried and waiting for his only strayed son.
Also during my stay with them I got to know Doy’s younger sisters Ofelia (to be Ernie Gange’s wife) and Estella (to be Greg Deloria’s wife) who came a bit later and stayed with us. So there we were, we became one family under one roof for a few months. I lived with Doy and Lulu for approximately eight months until the time I got married to my wife Mayette in June, 1970 in Niagara Falls. We developed a very closed relationship and they became our wedding sponsors. But before living them, I taught Doy how to drive and later on he thought Lulu how as well.
After two years or so we moved to Neshaminy Valley and we became neighbors there where we raised our first two children Rodney and Gail who became playmates of Lorelei. There in Neshaminy, we had frequent weekend gatherings with Fred and Tessie Villar, Cesar and my cousin Carmen Montalvo (Carmen was pregnant with my godson to be Marc), Vic and Mila Rivera (our immediate next door neighbors), Jun and Nanette Bernardino along with their children and other friends and relatives (see photos).
I feel guilty and this is very typical of all of us that we always praise and glorify people when they are dead and not when they are alive. Doy was a very lonely person after the death of Lulu. I talked to him sometimes when he was still capable of driving and asked him how he was doing and he’ll tell me he always visit Lulu’s grave in the cemetery almost daily and stay there for the whole day and even ate his lunch there. That breaks my heart that I wasn’t able to offer him some company after what we have been through being so closed together. Raising our children, being busy at work and doing housework by ourselves at home here in this land of opportunity made it so difficult for me and for sure for all of us.
Finally, I must thank you my dear Doy for having such an impact on my life... I love you.
You can copy and paste the Web Address below in your browser to view some of the photos I have gathered so far with the Doy and his family. It’s a work in progress and I am still digging from our unorganized photo collections.
https://photos.google.com/album/AF1QipPqq07eZV7UbuS9kBd2esmozIx12XIglwHhi3N9
